Friday 1 February 2013

Trespassers ‘ll be shot, survivors ‘ll be re-shot

It is human nature to be afraid of the known. Many people dread signs boldly written DANGER! Such signs come from Power Holding Company a.k.a NEPA. People would always stay away from such places for fear of death. But many people don’t fear the commandments of God.  Out here in South Africa, there are many of such signs and they come in different colours. They also beautify the city. Road signs are everywhere and even a blind driver hardly asks questions because the signs are explicit. There are places that are considered high risk areas and you see signs warning people not to walk alone.
In other places you see such signs as ‘Notorious for robbery. Don’t stop!’. Nobody tells you to hasten up. Even when somebody taps you on the shoulder, don’t look back. Keep Walking. Like Johnnie Walker. I was taken aback when I saw a bold sign which read “Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be re-shot”.
What do they mean by that? The fear that I could be considered a trespasser did not allow me to stay long there as I dashed off to the other side of the road. Now out of trouble, I asked a South African what they meant by that sign. “This is Pretoria.
Don’t ask questions. Obey signs and move ahead”, he said walking briskly past me as if I had committed a sin myself. It was later that another told me that such signs were more during the apartheid era. There were places that blacks were not allowed to walk through. Some roads were closed to blacks and bars and clubs were exclusive for whites.
That was then. Freedom has brought equality to all. Even though some people have more freedom than others. Not to worry. Six feet of earth makes us all equal.
Pain-free abortion
“Abortion is a sin”, the Church man would always say. In Nigeria, many people look so pious that you think they don’t commit sin. Abortion is widely condemned by many but people still practice it in the dark. Not here in Rustenburg, South Africa.
There are leaflets, posters of where to get that pregnancy terminated before it ruins your life. Such posters read; “Don’t allow unwanted pregnancy destroy your future. For your pain-free abortion, visit us for little cash sharp sharp.
We’re the Masters once it comes to flushing out. We do it in minutes without pains”. I have noticed the human traffic around those areas. Beautiful, young and old women flock those areas. It is not hidden. They do their things with pride. Its like pregnancy or having kids. Little girls of 16, 17 years would tell you they have a baby but no father.
“Why do you girls have kids without fathers?”. “You want to know ne?”, she asked in her deep Zulu accent.
“Men pluck flowers early when we are virgins and know nothing”, she said proudly. And after that, they are let loose. Searching for the last South African Virgin would be a difficult assignment.
Alomo bitters!
Kasapreko popularly known as Alomo bitters derives its origin from Ghana. Its an alcoholic herbal drink that has so much power for the consumer seconds after drinking.
It has gained ground like wildfire. Men and women re-charge their batteries with it. Those who don’t take alcohol drink it because its portent for diarrhea, jadi-jadi, malaria and stops weakness of the body. Ibos resident in South Africa call it “Onochie”(Replacement).
It drives out cold from the body during winter and keeps you warm and active all round the clock. Its popular in Nigerian motor parks and have gained grounds in rich men’s tables. Its an active man’s companion.
The only bad thing is its bitterness. And like bitter kola, it keeps you going strong. Most women don’t like it but love men who drink it. My Ghanaian friend says “it gives you more action, Charlie. And women love satisfaction”.
Green World: Cures all
Herbs, no doubt, have gained grounds in Africa. Our grandfathers depended on herbs and lived longer years before the advent of hospitals and drugs.
Most of the drugs are gotten and made from herbs, though. Asians still depend more on their herbs and it keeps them going up to 90 to 100 years walking without sticks.
There is one herb that is hawked out here in Rustenburg. Its magical. It cures all ailments.
They advertise it on billboards. It is called Green World. It cures Asthma, gives relief to alcoholics, Diabetes, dizziness, fever, memory loss, stress, it remedies nerves, stroke, blood pressure”. It cures any ailment you can think of.
I’ve noticed many young mad men in the streets. These mad guys are the architects of their madness. Drugs!. I wonder if this medicine can make them sane.
Food is ready!
 Nigerians are everywhere. There is no place in the world you cannot find a Nigerian. They make things happen. They are contributing to the economy of South Africa but are also making life difficult for the police. Some of them are haunted and hounded.
They deal in illicit drugs and live big. South Africans hate them for their enterprise. They wonder how a Nigerian who comes to South Africa to hawk apples would in a matter of one year become so rich that he drives the best exotic cars and buys houses in exclusive areas.
It is not a miracle. It is hard work. They have made life easier for us. We’ve discovered Nneoma Restaurant managed by Goddy Odenigbo(Ayola). The restaurant provides all the delicacies that make Nigeria tick. Everything about the restaurant is good except the price. It is better eaten once a day, if you still want to go back to Naija.

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